A Gluten Free Diet Does Turkey Day

"What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets.  I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving? " ~Erma Bombeck
My lovely Frys store (That would be Kroger to many of you regionally) sent me the monthly cooking booklet quasi magazine/marketing scheme. Typically the rag features healthy homecooked recipes with accompanying coupons for the store's own generic ingredients.
This time, the people responsible for the publication decided on a gluten free theme. While no one I regularly cook for needs a gluten free diet, countless families rely on gluten abstention to grant their digestive tract much needed TLC.
Shared for posterity; here is the takeaway from the Fry's Gluten Free Holiday brochure, to save your upcoming holiday cooking forays from themselves, and your gut from your cooking. First a few tips on some holiday staples, followed by actual recipes for a couple of holiday favorite dishes.

"And when it's dead... we can stuff even MORE food inside it when we cook it!"

~Turkey. Turkey is naturally gluten free, naturally. However some manufacturers inject turkeys with a broth solution that may contain wheat. If a turkey isn't clearly marked "gluten free" on the packaging (or it didn't come from a hunting trip or a hobby farm), make sure to read the ingredients and call the poultry company to verify the information if you can't afford to take any chances. (Seriously, who wants to be violently ill and in massive pain on black friday?)
Follow the same precautions for cured hams or any alternative poultry like goose or duck.

~Gluten free rolls (or bread for stuffing.) You have the option of making gluten free bread from scratch, or purchasing some ready made products from the "healthy bread" section in your favorite health food store. If you've been living gluten free for long you probably already have some favorite bread brands picked out. Add tasty add ins to the baking process like herbs or cheese or drizzle melted butter and honey on the tops of loaves or rolls while baking to make them a little more "festive" for the occasion.

~Gluten Free chicken broth. As with your turkey, check labels on packaged product or make your own from your turkey drippings.

~Corn Starch is a great thickener for gravies, glazes and pie filling, boasting twice the thickening power of wheat flour. When using stir cold liquid into your corn starch until smooth, then add to your hot liquid.

Pumpkin Pie with gingerbread cookie crust. YUM!

~Gluten Free cookies make a fantastic dessert on their own, or crumble and mix with butter for a deliciously simple pie crust. Make your pumpkin pie and eat it too!

Gluten Free Recipes

The magazine promises that these dishes are so good, no one will even notice the gluten is gone. I am inclined to believe it, they look amazing!

Sweet Potato Souffle
For Souffle:
6 sweet potatoes
3/4 C white sugar
1/2 C milk
1/2 C butter, melted
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 eggs, beaten
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt

For topping:
1 C brown sugar
1/3 C butter, melted
1 C pecans, roughly chopped.

Preheat the oven to 425. Wash sweet potatoes and prick all over with fork. Bake on baking sheet for 45 mins to one hour, or until fork easily pierces through the potatoes. Allow potatoes to cool; peel off skin.

Reduce heat to 350. Grease or butter one 2 qt. casserole dish. Manually or in a stand mixer mash the potatoes, blending until smooth.  Add the sugar, milk, butter, vanilla, eggs, cinnamon and salt. Mix well. Pour the sweet potato mixture into the casserole dish.

To make the topping stir together the brown sugar butter and pecans into a bowl. Sprinkle topping over the the sweet potato mixture and bake for 40 minutes.

Gluten Free classic green bean casserole

For fried onions:

1 medium onion, sliced thin. 

1/3 C gluten free flour/flour mix

1/4 tsp salt

1/4 C Vegetable oil

For casserole:

1 lb canned or fresh green beans, rinsed, trimmed and halved.
2 tbsp unsalted butter
2 large portabella mushrooms, sliced
1/2 tsp black pepper
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/3 C sour cream
2 tbsp gluten free flour
2 C gluten free cream of mushroom soup
Fried onion

Combine the sliced onions and dry ingredients in a large bowl, tossing until totally coated with flour and salt. Meanwhile heat the vegetable oil in a nonstick skillet on medium-high. Brown the onions in the hot oil, approx 3-4 minutes on each side. Place the browned onions on a paper towel lined baking sheet.

Preheat the oven to 400 for baking the casserole. If using fresh beans, boil in lightly salted water for 5 minutes, then rinse with cold water and set aside. If using canned beans rinse and set aside.

In a large saucepan melt the butter and toss in sliced mushrooms and pepper. Stir over medium heat for 5 mins, then add garlic and flour, stirring to coat.
Cook an additional minute, then add the sour cream and soup and lower the heat to medium low. Cook while the mixture thickens, approx 5 to 8 mins more.
Remove from heat and stir in half the fried onions and all of the drained beans. Pour mixture into large casserole dish and bake for 10 mins or until bubbly. Sprinkle remaining onions on top and bake for additional 5 mins. Serve warm.

Gluten Free Cornbread Stuffing 

For cornbread:

1 C gluten free flour blend

1/4 C Sugar

4 tsp baking power

3/4 tsp salt

1 tsp xanthan gum

1/4 C shortening (not butter)

2 lg. eggs

1 C milk

1 C yellow cornmeal

For stuffing:

2 tbsp butter

1/2 C chopped celery

1 small chopped onion

2 eggs, beaten

2 C gluten free chicken stock

2 Tbsp dried sage

salt and pepper to taste

Preheat the oven to 425 F. Combine all the dry ingredients for the cornbread in a large bowl. Cut the shortening into the flour using either 2 forks, a pastry cutter, or a food processor until there are walnut sized pieces of shortening in a sandy flour.

Combine the eggs and milk in a small bowl. Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients and pour in the liquid. Stir with a rubber spatula until combined. Stir in the cornmeal, working quickly until just combined. Do not over stir. Pour into a greased 9x9x2 inch pan and bake for 20-25 minutes or until the sides of the cornbread shrink slightly away from the pan and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. 

Let cool, then crumble.

Reduce heat to 350 F. Grease one 9x13 inch baking dish. In a large skillet over medium heat melt butter and saute the onion and celery until soft. 

In a large bowl combine the celery, onions, 3 C crumbled cornbread, eggs, chicken stock, sage salt and pepper. Mix well. Place into prepared dish and bake for 30 minutes. Refrigerate any leftovers. Serves 6-8

There you have it! I know I picked up a lot of ideas I plan to incorporate into my own gluten intensive feast.
Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving all!

The Desperation Guide to Baking Substitutions

"If it is true that necessity is the mother of invention, it is for certain that irrationality is the mother of desperation."
~Erma Bombeck

We've all done it. Psych ourselves up to making that fabulous pumpkin bread/cake/brownies/cookie recipe we've been dreaming of for weeks. You carve out a sturdy chunk of your afternoon to dedicate to the baking affair. Your kids call in sick to their friend's houses on Saturday. 

You get started on the batter, you pour in the sugar, the flour, the spices and then-- an icy chill tugs at your veins. Did that recipe always call for buttermilk?? And what fiend ate the other 11 eggs in the carton!!

Noooooo!!! What have you done?!?!?!

The answer for most women is to stick the half mixed batter in the fridge and dash off to the nearest grocer, or sprinting to a neighbor's house, hopefully returning before your yeast goes flat.
Alas country girl, you are not most women!!
This blog is written for the rural chef, with the thought in mind that what you've got in your pantry at this moment is the only set of supplies you're likely to get this afternoon.
With any luck, this list will safe your sanity and sweet tooth.

Buttermilk: If you have this on hand regularly, you either have a cow in your backyard, or you make a lot of biscuits. Buttermilk isn't just for a rustic baked flavor, it acts as an acid chemically, and if you try to substitute plain milk, your munchables will fall flat (literally!)

"I thought you said you made a 16 layer cake?"
"That IS the 16 layer cake."

1 Cup Buttermilk = 

1 Tablespoon lemon juice + 1 Cup Milk : in a 1-cup measuring cup, add 1 Tablespoon of fresh lemon juice to skim, low fat or whole milk at room temperature. Let sit for 10 minutes to curdle before adding to your recipe.

Or

1 Tablespoon of White Vinegar + 1 Cup Milk: same directions as above

Or


1 Cup of Plain Yogurt

Or

1 3/4 teaspoons Cream of Tartar + 1 Cup Milk: To ensure that the mixture doesn’t get lumpy, mix the cream of tartar with 2 Tablespoons of milk. Once mixed add the rest of the cup of milk.

Or

 The more work alternative: Have heavy cream? make mason jar butter. The liquid left in the jar after you have solid butter is genuine buttermilk.

You can buy powdered buttermilk at the grocery store, but if you had the presence of mind to pick that up in advance, surely you're not desperate enough to be on this page. Follow the package directions to reconstitute a cup of buttermilk and stop being such a drama queen.

Eggs: It is not the intent of this blog to suggest vegan alternatives to animal products. It is intended to supply a ready list of backup ingredients to salvage your baking plans or extend your groceries. As such, I will not be including obscure health food store ingredients. That said, if cutting cholesterol or animal protein is your main intent, there is an entire internet out there happy to make suggestions.
In baking, eggs act as a liquid, and a binder to hold the other ingredients together. For some recipes (like brownies or cake mixes) you can reduce the number of eggs used, for others (like fried chicken) you can pass up the eggs completely. Use your intuition to choose the best flavored eggless option for your purposes. If a bread relies on an "eggy" flavor though (popovers, some waffle recipes), it's best not to substitute at all.

1 Egg =

1 Tablespoon of ground or milled flax seed + 3 Tablespoons of warm water: Suspend the flax seed in the water for 5 minutes. This substitute is so popular in my house, I use it in all my cakes, pancakes, doughnuts and breads to stretch out my eggs for the week as a standard practice. Pretty much flavorless, and very cheap.

Or
 
1 Duck Egg: if you're out of chicken eggs, and have ducks, this is no time to be squeamish. Duck eggs give superior "loft" to baking anyway, and will not exacerbate an allergy to chicken eggs.


Or

 1/4 Cup Silken Tofu: If you have this sitting around in your fridge, you probably know how and when to use it. Adds a certain heaviness to baked goods, but doesn't alter the flavor.

Or

 3 Tablespoons of mayonnaise: I promise, this won't make your chocolate cake taste funny.

Or

 1/2 mashed Banana + 1/4 teaspoon of baking powder

Or

 1 Tablespoon of corn starch + 3 Tablespoons of water

Or

 1 Tablespoon of unflavored gelatin + 1 Tablespoon cold water + 2 Tablespoons boiling water: Dissolve gelatin in the cold water, then add the boiling water, beat vigorously till frothy.

Or

 2 tablespoons liquid + 2 tablespoons flour + ½ tablespoon shortening + ½ teaspoon baking powder: An unnecessarily complicated formula with all these other options to choose from, but may be necessary at the end of the month.

 Vegetable Oil: I've been known to melt margarine, butter or shortening interchangeably. Use your best judgement for the flavor you want.

1 Cup Vegetable Oil =

1 Cup Apple Sauce: For baked goods only, please don't try to fry or saute' in applesauce.

Plain Yogurt: For sauces, soups, baked goods

1 Cup Plain Yogurt =

1 Cup Sour Cream

Or

 1 Cup Buttermilk

Or

 1 Cup Sour Milk: This is what you get using our buttermilk substitutions using either white vinegar or lemon juice.


Molasses: It may take you by surprise to see this in a cookie recipe you are already committed to.

1 Cup Molasses =

3/4 Cup Brown Sugar + 1 Teaspoon Cream of Tartar: Mix ingredients and then add to your recipe.

Baking Powder: Whats the difference between Baking Soda and Baking powder? Acid my dear girls! both ingredients act differently on a chemical level. Any substitution you try to make between the two must be compensated for.

1 Teaspoon of Baking Powder =

1/4 Teaspoon of Baking Soda + 1/2 teaspoon of Cream of Tartar

Or

 1/4 Teaspoon Baking Soda + 1/2 Cup of Buttermilk: if you do this you must subtract 1/2 cup of other liquid from the recipe.

Brown Sugar: You might be surprised how many times I've brainlessly begun Chocolate Chip Cookie Batter with none of this staple on hand.

1 Cup Packed Brown Sugar =

1 Cup White Sugar + 1/4 Cup Molasses: Decrease the liquid in the recipe by 1/4 cup.

Or

1 Cup White Sugar

Or

1 1/4 Cup Powdered Confectioners Sugar

Chocolate:  Lets not get into the whys and the hows of getting elbow deep into a chocolate based recipe and overlooking the fact that you have no chocolate on hand.    

Semisweet: 

1 ounce of semisweet chocolate =

1 ounce of unsweetened chocolate + 4 teaspoons of sugar

Or

1 ounce semisweet chocolate chips + 1 teaspoon of shortening

Unsweetened:

1 ounce of unsweetened chocolate =

3 Tablespoons unsweetened cocoa + 1 Tablespoon shortening or vegetable oil

Cocoa:

1/4 Cup Cocoa =

1 ounce unsweetened chocolate


Well gals, that covers my most needed substitutions. If there's another you desperately need on a regular basis (or you'd like to sound off on some of your favorite substitutions) drop me a comment!    

How to Survive Fresh Air and Open Spaces: The Blogpost

Today's blog is dedicated to those poor souls who have decided to get out of the smog, pollution, the crime and the rat race to move to the country- "..for a slower pace, fresh air and to finally relax."

From zero to 80 mph in 12 seconds.

I hope your Zoloft prescription is still current.

As a long time country girl, I think it only fair that someone who has survived pastoral purgatory let you know what you're really in for. So here you have it, things a real estate agent or those organic farmette rags won't tell you. Hopefully the heads up will help you come to terms with "peace and quiet" when it is anything but. Or save you from a fate worse than Chuck E. Cheese's on a Saturday afternoon.

• There is nothing to eat

Living outside the city limits has the distinct disadvantage of being outside the city limits. There is no coffee shop behind the second maple tree in your back yard. Not even a Starbucks. Or for that matter, a McDonald's express. Coffee is something you will make within the first 5 minutes you crawl out of bed in the morning and will stay on until about 30 minutes before you go to bed at night. Lunch is something in the refrigerator, and its usually not as glamorous as a grilled pannini or muffaletta. Even when you get to the nearest town it's hit or miss for your favorite chain. Usually miss. Learn to make your favorites (or acceptable substitutes) before you turn in the keys to your condo. Otherwise you'll be forced to live on organic zucchini and fresh eggs that your pushy neighbors foist on you (Zucchini is immortal, chickens; prolific) and whatever you can scavenge from the land (dandelion fritters anyone?)

• There is nothing to do

Not only will you starve to death, you (and your kids) will also be bored. Shopping is typically 30 minutes to an hour away from the rural areas and it goes without saying that there are no arcades or waterparks within walking distance of your little farm yard. In true third world standards, there isn't even a public bus line! There's no miniature golf, no movie theaters and no parks. Any teenagers you possibly have will have their development and social lives irrecoverably stunted. This fact isn't really a secret though, your teens and pre-teens will inform you on a daily basis that you're directly responsible for ruining their lives and that they are running away to LA or NYC five minutes after they turn 18. Studies show that rural teenagers frequently read, go outside, and meet friends at school who are in FFA and 4H and are less likely to eat deep fried mall  food every day. Despite what your child will tell you, more people die of zucchini overdoses than of lack of a 4g iphone connection. On the upside, teenage tantrums will become an unexpected source of entertainment for you. Those cute lil teenage problems (algebra homework, the cute girl in 2nd period...) being the end of the world is SO Adorable!!

Doesn't matter if they are 6 or 16, this is still what a parent sees.

• Gasoline is worth it's weight in..... gasoline.

Remember how we talked about how there is nothing in the middle of the country? That's no secret to your gas tank. If you're smart (and lucky) you managed to find a home in the country that is a similar commute in minutes to your job as you had across town when you lived in the big city. The miles may be more numerous, but at least you're moving instead of idling in traffic.
The biggest adjustment you're going to have to make living out of town is effective travel. No longer can you just pop out for dinner or Jamba Juice on a whim or go down to the corner to grab a gallon of milk.
If you want to be efficient with your gas money, you need to think to take care of errands and pick up anything you need while you are in the city for something else.

"Has anyone seen Poofypom?"

If you don't already have one, don't buy a Prius or electric car. Your neighbors will look at you like they would look at Arnold Schwarzenegger walking a Pomeranian in a speedo (the governator, not the dog.) If you have a patch of snow or ice, a flash flood or a mudslide that little tin box isn't getting you anywhere.

Also research suggests that the costs and manufacture of hybrids & electrics and their batteries neither saves you money, nor decreases your carbon footprint (one source of many).
In the country, you might actually have practical reason to own an SUV, especially if it has a trailer hitch for towing and 4 wheel drive, but no one can fault whatever economical get around car you may already have.

• Fresh air is not always fresh

Does not smell like Teen Spirit. Trust me.

City folks, those pastoral photographs of cows, grazing sheep, horses and roosters don't prepare you for the fact that animals stink. Even if you're not interested in keeping animals the chances your neighbors have them anyway is very great. If you show up at a town or county meeting to ask the local government to regulate or outlaw livestock to make the air more pleasant or the pastures more scenic you will be laughed out of the house.
The country is a completely different lifestyle and animals are part of it. If you want a sanitized resort by all means, stay in the city and visit the farmstands and the petting zoos with the kiddies and go back to your sanitary hotel at the end of the day!

If on the off chance you not only love animals, you don't mind living near them too you must do due diligence to research your possible neighborhood before you undertake the move.
A commercial dairy farm, egg ranch or feed lot within a radius of 5 miles can make your paradise in the country unlivable with the changing of the direction of the wind. Even if you get used to it, your guests never will. The crazy cat lady just hopped ahead of you in the social calendar.

• Crime

Living far removed from urbania does not exclude you from the possibility of being burgled. Sometimes it can even increase it. If you live in the city you make wise choices to make your home an unattractive target for thieving. You may choose to live in a gated community with security patrols. You are advised to keep the outside of your home well lit, have a burglar alarm, or a dog if your situation allows. You don't let your young children go off by themselves or play near the street and you have the "stranger danger" talk with them.
There may be fewer people in the country than the city but it still only takes one messed up person to mess with your sense of security. It is wise to take measures to protect what needs protecting no matter where you live.

Rintin when he sees you...

Invest in good locks for your doors and windows, and if you have a gate on your driveway and pastures it's worth the while to lock those as well. Criminals scout easy targets, so make your home a difficult one. A large dog makes a good security guard. If you have valuable farm equipment or tools keep them out of sight from the road at the very least. If your fences and gates are secure you are less likely to have livestock stolen.
Good lighting, good locks, a guard dog and a lack of "cover" will deter all but the most determined crooks.

Rintin to strangers.

On a lighter note, you also need to be concerned with nature's bandits. Raccoons, rats, weasels, polecats, foxes, possums, coyotes, even bears, alligators and mountain lions will happily help themselves to your pets, pet food, or your garbage cans if they are hungry. For best results use trash receptacles that latch and can't spill, don't leave pet food outdoors overnight and keep your small dogs and cats indoors at night. If you intend to keep chickens there are numerous articles on the web that will tell you how to predator proof your coop. Read some of them.

• Nature will laugh at your efforts (and probably poop on your head)

On bugs--there is very little you can do about them. Screen in your porch and get a lifetime supply of citronella and Avon Bug Guard Plus. If you have ducks, they will put a dent in mosquitoes, slugs, destructive beetles, flies and other outdoor ground level insects.

Remember that lovely orchard or alfalfa meadow across the fence from you? It attracts bees. It not only attracts bees it relies on bees to be productive. If there are not enough bees, the farmer will likely rent bees. Spraying your property with pesticides is not an effective option. Not only will you have poison chemicals around your yard, it won't actually keep the bees away. If anything it will kill the whole hive due to colony collapse disorder and your neighbor with the field or trees will probably just rent more bees. Hopefully, your home is not in the line of the bees "cleansing flight" (if it is, you should have taken my advice of "due diligence") The best thing to do with bees is learn to live with them. If you can do that, you might even consider keeping a hive of your own for natural honey. Your neighbor may even appreciate not having to rent bees anymore.

On birds- there are strategies for keeping wild ducks out of your swimming pool, crows away from your garden, and pigeons off your house. Take a minute and google them for yourself. What am I? Wikipedia?

• Neighbors

It is an inevitability that if you own grazing animals, one day, one or more of them WILL break out of their fence and your neighbor will find them destroying his or her garden one day. If you don't own animals, it is an inevitability that one of your neighbor's animals WILL break out of their fence and you will find them destroying your garden.
Maintaining good relations with your neighbors is vital to contented country living. A bad neighbor relationship can literally turn your dream into a nightmare. I've experienced everything from vandalism and theft from an angry neighbor, to false police reports, to having my animals maliciously poisoned.
For best results take into consideration how good the neighbors are before purchasing a rural home. You should be introducing yourself before putting down earnest money anyway to get the real scoop on the land (a realtor will do his best not to let slip if a property is on the market because the previous owner found it unlivable due to flooding, snake migration, outbreak of parvo, haunting or a drunken redneck neighbor.)
It is vital when living in the country to have someone nearby to call on in an emergency situation (you need to be driven to the hospital, you've got an injured animal, your husband drank the last cup of milk, you need a REAL opinion on the color you painted your bathroom.)

• Fences

One of the least disturbing google images for barbed wire scars.

If you want to keep large animals like horses in and large animals out, you need fences about 6 ft. high. Chain link is in my experience the most economical safe option for horses, dogs and goats. Barbed wire is evil. The first time you have to cut a horse (or worse, a wild deer) out of it you will never want to use it again. I've heard of a lot of animals that had to be put down because of it. Luckily never one of mine (and I do mean luckily.)
Horsewire and hogwire can be acceptable fencing for certain uses. Wood fencing is durable, safe and rustic. White vinyl panel fences are safe, attractive and clean looking (you can also attach wire to the back of them.) Do not attempt to use chicken wire for chickens. Hardware cloth and small box wire is better protection and safer.
Even if you don't care to keep animals in or out it's advisable to put a fence on your property line just to keep track of it.


Well country-folk, my out door chores beckon. If I haven't frightened you off yet, be sure to tune in next time for the low down on how much money and energy it will take to maintain your rural lifestyle. Or maybe I'll just post some of my many uses of zucchini. Or at least a How To on killing the damn things and putting an end to the global zucchini crisis. 

The Road to Gastric Distress is Paved with Good Intentions.

Against my better judgement, I have decided to run a cooking experiment as a blog subject. This is a poor idea for the following reasons:
1. This was decided as part of a whimsical journey to turn something "inedible" into a fancy dish I have never made before.
2. My mother follows my blog and will probably read this before I serve the "experiment" for dinner. The last thing I really need right now is for her to spread insurrection amongst the guinea pigs after reading about my extremely non-food-scientific methods.
3. I committed to this recipe under the assumption that I had all the ingredients I needed. Au. Con.trair.

This doesn't look so complicated...

Chilled cucumber soup is often prompted by an affluence of cucumbers from the garden. My first deviation is that this is not a problem I have. As a matter of fact none of the cukes I planted really thrived, and I'm only just now getting little baby cucumbers on one anemic little cucurbita (don't mistake my aversion to redundancy for horticultural expertise, I had to look that up. More on what a gardening newb I am further down.)

"Are you my mother?"

In fact my trouble is my own impatience.

I'll cop to it. I have never grown watermelon before, despite it being one of my favorite foods. After 3 months from seeds to taking over the back row of my 20x20 garden plot, I spied a melon that had grown large very quickly. The "thump" sounded right, so I gave it a shot, and sliced it open intending to serve it with dinner that night.

I was massively disappointed to discover I had de-vined the melon before it's time in my inexperience! it was totally pale green on the inside. Not exactly the sweet treat I intended for dessert. 
Bravely I gave it a taste, and found that while it wasn't sweet it DID taste a great deal like cucumber.
I had hope that this farmgirl would be able to make something of this immature melon!

No, not THAT kind of immature melon!!

THIS kind of immature melon!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So here I have brought you, gentle reader, to the forefront of my mellonic motivation!

I had massive amounts of green melon (while not a technically "large" melon in and of itself, if substituting for cucumber, it works out to a good deal of cucumber) and I had plain yogurt leftover from starting my home fermented jars and on that assumption alone I presumed I had my bases covered. Since I had a fresh lemon, dried dill, and garlic salt I figured I could get away with fudging my lack of mint, fresh dill and garlic cloves and leave salt out of the recipe.
I began with slicing and  cutting the rind off the green melon.

I didn't think it would be necessary to grate the melon as it was pretty juicy and I would be just putting it in the blender anyway.
When I peeked into the plain yogurt container it should have been nearly full, as I only bought it for starter for homemade 'gurt.
Alas. Someone had tried eating about a cup of the stuff. Thankfully I remembered that *some* cucumber soup recipes call for an extremely thick sour cream, so I fudged in a cup of sour cream to fill the rest of my yogurt measures, a necessary step as the fam polished off the entirety of yesterday's homemade.
I spotted another recipe entirely that suggested celery seed so I decided to toss some of that in as well, and my sweet basil is particularly zesty and prolific so I decided to throw in a large diced handful of it, shooting for a more savory herb mixture in the cold soup.

I stirred all the ingredients and tossed it in my leaky blender. How is it my mother owned one ugly green plastic Osterizer my entire childhood and it never cracked or burned out (despite smelling like brimstone when it ran) but I have gone through no less than 5 blenders in my 9 year marriage?






Anyway. I banked on pureeing the ingredients before they began to seep out the bottom of the blender jar and all over the counter, and succeeded. Just barely.

Looks nice.... doesn't taste bad. Lets see what the kids say?

Whatever. These little urchins think "fine dining" comes from a drive through.
They look more like my husband anyway.
I actually think it tastes quite good, just maybe not sweet and dessert-ish like I always assumed cucumber soup would be.
On the upside, if no one eats it, I can jar the stuff and freeze it for my next potluck. Some pots are always luckier than others. 

How to Goose a Duck...

Last night the house cat wandered into the incubation room (ok... laundry room), took a deep whiff of the baby bird smell and tail a' twitching had that predatory look in his eye. I decided then and there it would be in the best interests of my fledgling waterfowl to move the brooder to mine and hubster's bedroom, which worked out well since it's always 90 degrees in there anyway and nothing I can do about it.

In other words, it's really hot.

With 3 trips up and down in the night anyway to look in on them and add food/water on my way it worked out. This morning I was greeted with gentle peeping and 5 little fuzzy bills looking for more baby food. Then a screech and a wail of the actual baby expecting some baby food. Then as soon as I finished getting something for the 5 year old to eat the 10 month old was hungry too.

Kids fed, husband fed, dogs watered, garden watered, horses fed I got back to those ducks. They're really active today! Even the runty one is starting to keep up with the big girls.

Once I got the brooder clean I sat down to look at the hatchery's info and they posted my girls' breed as sold out till 2012.

So it looks like they won't be able to replace the babies I lost without a substitution, and honestly-- I dont want anything besides egg ducks, and I really don't want crested versions of the same breed-- they look like Snooki, and have a lethal gene. (If only we could say the same for Jersey Shore.)

The far less rare than you'd like-- Crested Snooki

I'm definitely going to try to pursue the refund for the remainder of my order and finish off my flock elsewhere.
One site I've been looking at is Metzer Farms. They purportedly have good gene strains for campbells, as well as hybrid layer ducks that supposedly out perform khakis laying wise, and very different personalities. I'm thinking of finishing my flock either with their campbells, or with the white layers they have.



Something I found useful on the metzer site in the field of farm girl skills, is a video that teaches you how to check the gender of your day old ducks and geese.

Yeah... it's not pretty but at least you'll know how many and which of your hatch-lings is destined for the freezer.

I guess I'd have to get some kind of bands so I could mark them...

One of the sad things about the Golden 300 Hybrid and the White Layer is that since they are bred for efficient commercial egg farms, a disproportionate number of females are in demand and the males are pretty much unwanted.

To the extent that the farms will include one free of charge male for every female ordered (or less) which is perfectly fine for us hobby farmers as we don't mind cooking smaller mallards, or passing them on to other backyard farmers (imagine what a stud duck of this breed will do for a home flock!)
If I manage to get a refund from my first hatchery, I may just have to give some white layers a try this summer.

Ducking the Odds

A few months ago I looked up from my copy of "You'll Grow Organic, and Like It!" and said to the spousal unit; "Hon, you know what?"
"Hnh?" he grunted as he glanced over from his Farkle game.
"I could totally make money off of eggs."
"Can you get me a drink of water?" he asked, finally noticing I was speaking to him.
"Chicken eggs are a dime a dozen, but I bet if I sold farm fresh duck eggs, I could really clean up."
"Duck eggs?" he replied incredulously.
"Yeah, ducks."
"Can you even eat those?"
"Course you can, they're nutritional gold, french chef's love 'em, second to none for baking--"
"How much is it going to cost?" he cut me off.
"Well, I can feed them out of the kitchen cupboard, so pretty much just the cost to buy the babies and building a shelter."
"Cool."

I started shopping around hatcheries, I had a good idea what I wanted, khaki campbells for their egg endurance, one hatchery wanted $41.00 to ship less than 10 ducklings, and my debit card collapsed in a fit of laughter. Finally I settled on Hatchery number 3 out of Texas. Their price on sexed birds (don't get excited, that only means I have a shot at hosting ladies night in the duck house, not a baby shower) was pretty reasonable, and they didn't have a prohibitive minimum purchase. They also had a pretty good reputation on the internet in terms of reviews, and a habit of tossing bonus boyos to make sure the girl'os  stayed warm enough in shipping. The final decision was based on the assumption that the journey by mail from Texas to Arizona would be less extreme on the hatchlings.

I sat on my order for a while-- anticipating a time when I would have some cash free enough to blow on my venture. Finally I had an ebay auction that ended favorably enough that I finally had some seed money in my paypal account.
The second that payment hit the account I was filling my order for 12 khaki campbell "pullets" (I was under the impression that 'pullet' only applied to chickens, but eh-- I'm hardly expert enough to quibble.)
By this point I had already waited 3 months from inception to purchase date, so I'm sure that the gentle reader can understand how flabbergasted this farmwife was to discover that the next available hatch date was yet ANOTHER month away.
*sigh*.

Finally the delivery day arrived. As I was roused from a sound saturday sleep on a holiday weekend by the postal clerk at the crack of 6 am, ("we have ducklings for you. Come get them at the back door of the post office") I leaped up with the excitement of a kid at Christmas.


Farm animals though they may be, I love new creatures coming into the family.
I inspected the box and was saddened to discover that of 12 ducklings, only 8 survived the trip, and even worse 3 more perished throughout the day. They also did not send any freebies.
At the moment I have 5 brave soldiers still standing in the brooder, with prayers that they all make it with the help of my attentive care.

Hopefully tuesday the hatchery will get ahold of me and we can discuss making good on my order (they do promise a live delivery guarantee after all.) If my rate of survival is somewhere south of 50%... Im not sure I want them to put more of them in the mail... and I definitely dont want to have to wait for another hatch in a month.

I've been looking for a closer hatchery in the future. Not because the hatchery I chose does bad business, but I can't stand the thought of such sweet babies dying on such a long, hot trip. Got a favorite hatchery? drop a comment! If I get a refund from hatchery number 3 I'll be looking to pick up another 7 hen-ducklings to round out my dozen.