Secret Cow Level

Long story short. Most people I know, know how I adore Missy Moo, my precious little pocket cow. Missy cries for me when I leave the cow pen-- she nuzzles. It's no secret how I am anxiously awaiting her calf during the holidays.

Well-- a family member decided my cow was pretty neat. So he invested in 3 new dexters (that passed my basic muster for health and value.) Mama Martha is in milk and has a 3 month old baby (Monica). Betty Brown is a beautiful red dexter but hasn't seen a lot of hands on treatment, so to get the girls at their full potential, I've taken on training them.

We begin with milking Martha.

Now, Martha has been hand milked before. Once for sure. A year ago. Our first milking trial saw her pacing back and forth in the horse pen, bellowing for her baby all day. I am quite certain that the neighbors thought I was torturing the poor animal.

When the appointed hour came, first order of business was a swift kick in the bucket. (Side note: Jeffers sells VERY good quality stainless steel buckets.) Goodbye first few ounces of cream. Hello ringing in my hand.

With a flank rope in place, Martha couldn't bring herself to kick anymore. (HAH!!) So she took to spinning around the pole I tied her to... (...hah....) I persisted in trying to work what I could out of her when she stopped to catch a breath but she seemed determined not to let down her bounty, further what I did get was so full of dust and hair I think it probably could have won a sand castle competition with my milk bucket contents.
Dejected, dusk setting in, and finding it all of a sudden very hard to draw a deep breath I finally gave it up, put her back in with greedy baby Monica and the other cows.

7 hours later, I was in bed with pneumonia. So much for cow training.

A few days later, I was ready to try again. This time, I got wise to the spinning top maneuver and set up a milking stall across the fence from the peanut gallery (Monica, Missy and Betty) This time, we hit our stride! Martha munched her oats unnmoving for several minutes-- The soft calf lowes seemed to help with the letdown-- the milk bucket was screened, and my hands were learning the milking motion!! We had achieved Dairy!! When martha scooted too far away from the stool a tug on the flank rope brought her back. It was like milking a different cow, she was so mellow and compliant!
I didn't put much milk in the bucket since I was trying to leave a lot for the calf, but I pasteurized that 1/2 pint  with PRIDE!!

The next day I was so looking forward to getting another go at it, Martha was even getting better with being led. She didn't freak out so much when I put her in the horse pen. Yessir, everything was PEACHY!

Then at about 11 am I glance out the window and what do I see? A mama cow--- pacing around the cow pen. From the outside of it.

With a deep sigh I set down my coffee to go see what section of the fence she jumped over or tore out to escape.
It seems Martha was a bit of an engineer. How obvious that since she entered the pen by the gate--- she should leave that way.

Gate is now laying torn off of it's hinges. Horse is gone. Thankfully the hay pile is the most interesting place in the neighborhood and I was able to collect him quickly and re-hang the gate.

Obviously by now, I have realized I should not trust Ma'am Martha. When will I milk again? Glad you asked! I am working on yet another insidious plot to separate mother from (cow) child. Hopefully, a lot more fruitfully this time around.